Forever
by IaMcHrIsSi
Summary: Clint dies and leaves a pregnant Natasha behind. This is the story of how she and the Avengers (plus Pepper) deal with it. Obviously, CHARACTER DEATH.


**After my sister pointed out a few language errors, here the corrected version =) Enjoy!**

* * *

On her pillow:

Hey Tasha, you were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to wake you. I'm gonna be back for dinner, so you can give me my birthday presents! Joke =) Love you, Clint

* * *

In the mission report:

Agent Barton killed the target after an about 10 minute long firefight with the targets guards. He was on his way out when the buildung started crumbling down. He managed to save ten civilians before a piece of debris hit him. He was killed in an instant.

* * *

In her locker, in an envelope pinned on a little box:

Hey Clint,

I thought of several things I could give you. Then this happened and I think you will like it.

Love,

Tasha.

In the box: a positive pregnancy-test.

* * *

In a top-secret report only for Fury's eyes:

Agent Bartons death hit Agent Romanoff hard. She does not leave her room and refuses to speak to anyone. She also refuses to eat. A therapy might help, but right now there is a high risk she may commit suicide.

* * *

In Pepper Potts diary:

I still can't believe it. Clint, one of my best friends, Natasha's fiance, Tony's partner in crime, is dead. Gone. Will never come back. Natasha disappeared. According to JARVIS she's still in her room, and I bring her food every morning, midday and evening, but she doesn't eat anything. If I could only talk to her! It can't be good to stay in a room with all those memories... but on the other hand the tower just isn't the same anymore. We all feel it. Clint's gone, and we all feel the hole he left. Maybe seeing this would make it worse.

* * *

On a little piece of paper, lying in Natashas bin:

Clint!

* * *

Where are you? I need you! I can't do this alone! Come back! How shall I survive without you?

_(The paper is soaked with tears, the rest is unreadable)_

* * *

On a letter from the Avengers to Natasha, layed down together with the food:

Dear Natasha,

We all know that nothing we say can make it better. We all miss him, but nobody misses him as much as you do. We just wanted you to know that we are all here. We are here and we will help you. Tell us anything, and we will help you. Please don't give up. Even though you maybe feel that way now, you're not alone.

* * *

In a little notebook, hidden under Natasha's pillow:

Hello Clint,

The others think I should talk to somebody. And well, Steve always says that if good people die, they get to heaven. _(A teardrop is spilled over the last word, it's difficult to read)_ I think if this is right, you are there now. And from there, you'll read this letter, so I think this counts as talking to somebody, don't you think so?

I miss you, Clint. I wake up and miss you, I sit here and miss you, I go to sleep and miss you. I don't think I can do this _(More teardrops make this nearly unreadable)_ living without you, I mean. I see you everywhere, on the photos, in the way your pillow still lies on the bed, in your knive that is still hidden under your book. I just can't believe your not here. How can I be here when you are not? Come back!

Forever loving you,

Tasha

* * *

On Clint Bartons grave:

Here lies a good man

a man who did anything to help

a man who's last act was to save innocents

a man who made all of us proud having known him

a hero and

a man who will be missed dearly.

* * *

In Natashas notebook:

Hello Clint,

Today was your funeral. It was … It felt so wrong. All those crying people, your name on a grave. They buried you with all honors, would you believe me if I say they even gave me the flag?

They were all there, you know. Pepper, crying, clinging to Tony's arm, who looked stoically into the sky. Steve, standing there the whole time, never saying anything till his speach. It was a beautiful speach, you would have liked it. Bruce was there, too. He stood in the shadows, near enough to catch me if I'd have fallen. Thor was there with Jane, he cried the whole time. They were all there, they all miss you. But I miss you most. Come back!

Forever loving you,

Tasha

* * *

Between Tony's scientifical notes:

Bartons funeral today. Pepper cried the whole time. Was near crying, too. Clint should be here. Not in some grave. We need him. At least Romanoff left her room. Doesn't look good. Way to thin, Pepper says she's not been eating. And crying. Never thought I'd see her cry. Went back to her room directly after. Should be helping Pepper. But I can't. Can't face the reality.

* * *

In Natashas notebook:

Hello Clint,

It's been a few days since my last letter. I think you read it till now.

I just opened my locker and found the present I wanted to give you for your birthday. I thought it was perfect, but now you'll never know: I'm pregnant, Clint, you're going to be father! _(Teardrops are spilled over this words) _I wanted you to be there. I always thought you would be the perfect father: nice, caring, but not to serious. Our child would have loved you. And now, it's never going to know you. I miss you. I need you. Come back!

Forever loving you,

Tasha

* * *

In Peppers diary:

Natasha ate. Thank god. I don't know why, she still hasn't talked to anyone, but she ate. I want her to come out, I want her to break the silence, I want her to... be herself. But more than anything I want Clint to walk into the livingroom and tell us this is all a big mistake, that he isn't dead, that all is alright. Because even though I try, nothing is alright. Tony hides in his lab, never coming out until I drag him out, never talking about anything but science. Steve hides behind his books. Sometimes he draws. But never Clint. He is even more quiet than usually. Bruce left. It took me three days to figure out he went to India, working as a doctor again. Thor left, too. He went back to Asgard. Natasha is still in her room. It's been two weeks now, and I try to make it work. Sometimes, it seems hopeless. But today, Natasha ate.

* * *

In Bruce Banners journal:

He's gone. Clint. I left, too. I just couldn't stand it anymore. The silence in the tower was overwhelming. Pepper is doing her best to keep it all together. I let her down, I know that. I should be there, helping her, I should drag Natasha out of her room and get her to see a therapist, hell, I should go to a therapist myself. Clint is... was one of my only friends, a man that didn't judge, somebody I should have met earlier. But I left. I left, because I felt helpless. Here I can at least do something, help. I can't do that in the tower.

* * *

In Natasha's notebook:

Hello Clint,

It's two month now. Two month since your birthday, two weeks since you

Two month. Two month of sitting here in our room, two month of not talking to anyone. I still don't think I can live without you, but I'm trying. I won't lie, I thought of following you, one clean shot and I would see you again, but I can't. I'm not alone. Your child grows inside of me. I swear you, I will try for our child. I can't promise I will make it, but I'll try. I'll try.

Still wanting you to come back and forever loving you,

Tasha

* * *

In Peppers diary:

She came. I was sitting in the kitchen, must have been around midnight, and then the door opened and she walked in. I didn't know what to say, so I just offered her some tea. She sat down with me and then we just sat there for about ten minutes, drinking our tea and being there. Than she said 'thank you' and went. I don't know what this means, but I hope it means she's getting better. I will break if things don't change. I can't hold the Avengers together much longer.

* * *

In Steves scrapbook: a drawing of Natasha. An arrow is pierced in her heart.

* * *

In Natashas notebook:

Hello Clint,

Like I promised you, I try. I go out of our room every night. Always at midnight. I sit down with Pepper in the kitchen. We drink a tea and sometimes we talk. Never about anything important, but it's so good to talk. I nearly forgot how my own voice sounds.

I still can't face the others. I just can't. I know that Tony buries himself in work. Looks like not even Pepper can persuade him to come out of his lab. I know she worries for him. Steve seems to be fairly normal, drawing like always, but Bruce left. India. Where I picked him up. Thor is in Asgard.

Pepper tries, like I try. But I feel guilty, you know. Pepper doesn't only try to survive herself, she tries to make us all better. And then people say we are the heroes.

I'll talk to her tomorrow. About our child. She should know. I need to see a doctor, and I hope she can help me.

Still wanting you to come back and forever loving you,

Tasha

* * *

In a report only for Fury's eyes:

The Avengers are down. They are disbanded and even though Ms. Potts tries her best, she is near a burnout. If nothing happens, she will break down. Agent Romanoff still hasn't shown up.

* * *

In Peppers diary:

Natasha's pregnant. Clint will never get to see his child.

I went to the doctor with her. He said the child is well. It's unbelievable. But I think it helps her. She doesn't fight for herself anymore, she has to live for her and Clint's child, too. It gives her a reason to stand up every morning. She didn't say it, but I know. One look in her face is enough.

Still no sign from Tony. I don't know what to do.

* * *

In Steves scrapbook: Tony, lying on the floor.

* * *

Between Tony's notes:

Walked out. Out of my lab. Went to see Clints grave. Must have been around 3am. Did so many mistakes. Should have been there for Pepper. Have to be there for her now. Can't loose her. Not her.

* * *

In Natashas notebook:

Hello Clint,

Our child is good. Like planned, I went to the doctor with Pepper. Really, I don't know what I would do without her. She was there the whole time, holding my hand, hugging me when I started to cry.

You should have been there. You should have been there to see our child. You should have done all the things Pepper did. I miss you.

Still wanting you to come back and forever loving you,

Tasha

* * *

On a 'sorry'-card from Tony:

Dear Pepper,

I can't tell you how sorry I am. I buried myself in work when I should have been there for you. I disappeared when you needed me most. I lost myself and left you to pick me up again, only this time you had to pick up everybody else, too. I think I forgot that I wasn't the only one who lost a friend. I will be there for you. I wasn't and I can never make up for that, but I'll try. That's a promise.

* * *

In Steve's scrapbook: Pepper, who lifts the whole world.

* * *

In Peppers diary:

Tony is back. I don't know why, or how, but he is back. He apologized for not being there and … he is back. When I saw him in the livingroom, I broke down. He hugged me, held me for hours and told me it would be okay. Told me he is back. Told me he won't leave. He is back.

* * *

In Natashas notebook:

Clint,

I dreamed a wonderful dream. You were there, you never died, you told me it was an op and that you were so sorry. You were alive! You hold me, kissed me, stroked my hair, told me we'd raise our child together. Then we went to bed together, and I fell asleep with your arms around me. It was so real!

And then I woke up and your side of the bed was cold, like always. You aren't here. I need you!

Come back!

Forever loving you,

Tasha

* * *

In Bruce's journal:

Tony called. He sounded calm, but worried. Natasha is pregnant. Clint will have a child he never will know. Tony said she came out of her room a few times, trying to only meet Pepper. Can't blame her. Pepper is our all rock. Tony also said that Pepper is cracking. To much pressure.

I think she never really grieved, she was to focused on holding us together. Now it will break down on her. I can't let her down again. I packed my bags. Tomorrow, I will be in NY.

* * *

In Steves scrapbook: Natasha, with a baby in her arm.

* * *

In Peppers diary:

Bruce is here. He just stood in the livingroom today. He looks better than before his trip. He apologized like Tony, even though I told him he doesn't have to. It's not his fault.

It's six month now. Six month and I start to see the silver lining.

* * *

In Bruces journal:

We have build a routine. It's still difficult, but we've build a routine. In the morning, Tony and I will go in the lab, after a breakfast with everyone. Natasha goes in the gym after. I sometimes think that's not good for her, being pregnant and all, but this is better than her sitting in her room, so I don't say anything. Steve goes to the library or the cinema, still trying to get a feeling for everything he missed. Pepper goes to work. We all eat lunch together, and then we sit down in the livingroom together and read. In the background, JARVIS plays classic music. Pepper mostly joins about 5pm. It's fragile, but it works for us.

* * *

In Natasha's notebook:

Hello Clint,

Today something horrible happened. We were sitting in the livingroom, Tony, Bruce, Steve and me. It's something we etablished. In the evening, we just sit there and read. It's quiet, but I enjoy it.

But today, Pepper walked in. She looked as pale as always in the last months. I just never noticed, I guess. I was so focused on my own pain that I never thought of hers. She walked in and just broke down. Unconcious. We brought her to the hospital. They said she should be okay, but she had way to much stress and that she'll need a rest. We all were so caught up with ourselves that we didn't notice how bad she was! I feel horrible!

Still wanting you to come back and forever loving you,

Tasha

* * *

An E-mail for the board of Stark Industries:

Board members,

Ms. Potts will take a much needed vacation. No phone calls, no e-mails, not even letters. Nothing. For the sake of your all jobs.

Tony Stark

* * *

In Steves scrapbook: Pepper holding the world, but she is on her knees and doesn't look good.

* * *

In an report only for Fury's eyes:

The Avengers are going on vacation, following to Ms. Potts breakdown. It's planned to stay in Malibu for two weeks. No newspaper, no internet, no phones, no communication to the rest of the world. They made it very clear that they want Ms. Potts to rest. Agent Romanoff is with them. It can be seen as a good sign that she leaves Stark tower for such a long period.

* * *

In Peppers diary:

We are in Malibu. After my little break down, the others freaked out and basically forbid me to bring my blackberry. I ly at the beach and they won't let me do anything. Even Natasha is very adamant about this. I get that I worried them, and it's very nice that they care so much, but I feel... I want to do something. Something that is not lying on the beach or the couch and reading. I'm not made out of glass!

* * *

Between Tonys notes:

Still can't believe that I let it get that far. She broke down. I knew. Should have done something. Looked like a ghost for months now and I never did anything about it. My fault. Can't loose her. Just can't.

* * *

In Bruces journal:

Peppers breakdown shocked us all. I mean, I knew she was cracking, but still... Pepper has always been the strongest one. You wouldn't expect it, but she is. And seeing her break down... It's horrible. She took care of us when we were down, now it's our turn.

She is way to thin and to pale. She looks like death herself. Even Natasha looks better. Tony is a mess because of it. But he isn't alone. We will make sure she's okay. All of us will make sure she's okay. I will personally make sure none of us is alone with his problems anymore.

* * *

In Peppers diary:

Tony proposed! He proposed on the beach, with candles and everything. It was perfect. I think the others helped him. He proposed! We will marry!

* * *

In Steves scrapbook: Tony holding Pepper in his arms, a ring prominent on her finger.

* * *

In Natasha's notebook:

Hello Clint,

It kicked! Our child kicked! I could feel it! It's incredible. You should be here to feel it. Our child kicked!

Still wanting you to come back and forever loving you,

Tasha

* * *

In the newspapers:

Did Tony Stark finally ask the question? After their vacation Pepper Potts wears a ring now. Read more on pages 3-6.

* * *

Between Tony's notes:

Natasha's birthday. Went to Clint's grave. Just stood there, being there for her. She looks better. She even smiled when she got the presents.

* * *

In Steves scrapbook: Clints grave, on it a single white rose.

* * *

In Natashas notebook:

Hello Clint,

I can't believe that it's nearly eight month now. Eight month since then. I'm due anyday now. The others are fussing around me, finding excuses to have me in running distance. I wish you'd be here.

Still wanting you to come back and forever loving you,

Tasha

* * *

In Bruces journal:

Natasha went into labour. She's in there three hours now and Pepper is with her. We're wary, and scared, but she is Natasha. She will make it.

* * *

In Steves scrapbook: Natasha, hugged by Clint, but you can't see his face.

* * *

In Natashas notebook:

Hello Clint,

Today our daughter was born. She has your eyes and nose, but she will be a redhead just like me. You should see her. She is perfect. I named her Claire Virginia. Claire, because that reminds me of you, and Virginia after Pepper (did you know that's her birthname?), because I wouldn't have survived without her. The boys were fussing around me, just like expected. You should see this.

Still wanting you to come back and forever loving you,

Natasha

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

A schoolwork from Claire Barton (6):

My family is a bit crazy. I have my mom, she has red hair just like me. Then there is Auntie Pepper, she's moms best friend, and Uncle Tony, he's a bit crazy but really nice, with their little daugthers Lily and Rachel. They're twins, that means they look exactly the same. Then theirs Uncle Steve. He can draw wonderful. And there's Uncle Bruce. He always explains everything to me. My uncle Thor lives far away, but sometimes he comes to visit. My father died before I was born. I know mom and the others miss him very much. They say he was a good man and would have loved me. It sounds like he was really nice. I wish I could have met him.

* * *

In Steves scrapbook: Natasha, Clint and Claire, sitting together. Clint is smiling at the other two.

* * *

In Natasha's notebook:

Hello Clint,

Claire is 6 now. She is just like you, already loves archery. I like to imagine you training with her. You'd love her.

We went to visit your grave today. She doesn't fully understand the concept of death, but I want her to know that her father didn't leave, but died as a hero.

I know you can't come back, but that doesn't stop me from missing you.

I will forever love you,

Tasha.

* * *

**AN: It's raining outside and I couldn't help it. Tell me what you think! Really, reviews make my day better!**


End file.
